Josephine Smith wasn’t kidding when she approached 69-year-old Milton Ellis Wednesday night in the parking lot of a shuttered St. Petersburg, Florida Hooters and declared “I’m a vampire, I am going to eat you.”
After abandoning his car in the middle of a busy interstate, Cicero, Indiana man Bryon Womack stripped down to his shorts and shoes began marching along the side of the highway while swinging a 35-inch samurai sword ”up and down in rhythm with his marching cadence.”
Well, it didn’t take long for the police to get involved, and after a brief struggle in which Womack tried to jump in another vehicle, he was cuffed and brought to the station, where he channeled Sonny The Cuckoo bird and blamed his erratic behavior on being “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by the man behind the counter “not to waste his time.”
The man who broke into Celine Dion’s home in the Montreal suburbs earlier this week seemed to have little interest in the pop star, but his heart did go on for her stocked fridge and warm bathtub.
Neither Dion or her husband Rene Angelil, who live most of the year in Florida, were home when the 36-year-old man let himself in by using a garage door opener he found in an unlocked car on the property. Once inside the house, he took some pastries from the fridge, and started to draw himself a bath.
Think you come from a big family? Think again.
A woman whose son was conceived using donated sperm has learned the same donor has fathered at least 150 other children, with more yet to be counted.
Next Media Animation, the Taiwanese animation company famous for such gems as the re-enactment of the Tiger Woods car crash and the bizarre recap of Steve Jobs’ career, has found its next subject: Beyonce and Jay-Z’s unborn baby.
The awesomely hilarious clip shows Beyonce‘s reveal of the pregnancy at the VMAs and envisions the impending birth in a manger, with gossip purveyor TMZ serving as one of the Three Wise Men and Kanye West declaring it “the best pregnancy of all time.”
Arizona man Jesus Llovera is out for justice after actor Steven Seagal drove a tank into his home, killing his puppy, during a police raid that was filmed for Seagal’s reality TV show ‘Steven Seagal: Lawman.’
Here is how the cheesy late-90′s stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story:
“Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Those are a different kind of greens my friends! You hear what I’m saying everyone?!?”
Citing evidence such as birthday cards that contained no money and a lack of care packages when they were away at college, Steven Miner, 23, and Kathryn Miner, 20, tried to sue the woman who brought them into the world for being “negligent” and causing them “emotional distress.”
Not only was last week’s East Coast earthquake nice enough not to seriously injure anybody, but its rumbling effects may have actually helped a deaf man hear again.
If children were always trusted to name their younger siblings, there would be a whole lot of kids named Barbie and iPod and Justin Bieber. That’s why the naming duties usually go to responsible adults. And celebrities aside, they usually do an okay job of it.
Except Ian Clark. The Englishman enlisted the help of his four-year-old step-daughter and together, they named Clark’s daughter Meggie Maisie Lady Gaga, and plan to name his yet-to-be-born son Will.i.am, in honor of the Black Eyed Peas rapper.
Newlyweds Brittany Lurch and Arthur Phillips wanted a nice spread for their wedding reception last Friday. So the pair, who had actually been married a few days earlier, went to their local Wegmans supermarket, filled their shopping carts up with over $1,000 of ”stuff that someone might need for a wedding reception,” and then decided they were going to turn the groceries into a wedding gift by walking out without paying.
