50 Shades of Grey

That 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2' trailer almost stole some thunder tonight because I pretty much forgot that we were getting a brand, uh, spanking new, Beyoncé-accompanied trailer for '50 Shades of Grey.' Shady move, Blart. The second full trailer for the upcoming adaptation of the popular 'Twilight' fan-fiction erotica novel is here, so let's break it down, shall we?

We won’t know exactly how graphic ‘50 Shades of Grey’ is going to be until we see the film with our own cursed eyeballs, but we now officially know that the film has been given an R-rating by the pearl-clutching members of the MPAA. What does that R-rating stand for? Graphic nudity, “strong sexual content,” and “unusual behavior.” Wait, what the hell is unusual behavior?!

For anyone who has read the 50 Shades of Grey series and has a mental picture of Mr. Grey, expectations for what we might see on Instagram has been set at an all-time high. So, Jamie Dornan, what do you have to offer us?

Well, it's not 'Twilight,' but '50 Shades of Grey' was certainly inspired by it. Universal's upcoming BDSM romance, adapted from author E.L. James' bestselling and extremely explicit novel, will arrive in 2015, and the first look at its two stars has arrived.