Tourist Karen absolutely hates Lewis & Clark Caverns, “It’s the worst”

When the Lewis & Clark Caverns State Park opens for the season, it's one of the classic must-do excursions for out-of-town friends and family. But know, Karen thinks it sucks.

Before I portray these folks as whiny brats with too much time on their hands, I'll say this: Our state and national parks WERE a lot more fun when they weren't overflowing with visitors and you didn't need a reservation to use the bathroom.

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Nobody appreciates playing online hunger games to reserve a time to drive on a road. It pisses me off too. However, it seems that the vitriol needs to be focused to those people in charge of making rules AND in charge of making sure online booking systems actually work.

Telling the world that L&C or Yellowstone sucks just because your 2 year old got frustrated serves no purpose in my mind. It just makes you look...weird.

OK, back to the Lewis & Clark Caverns reviews. Some of these are doozies. (The following are direct quotes pulled from either TripAdvisor or Yelp, specifically about Lewis & Clark Caverns State Park.)

• "The experience at the cavern is just plain awful. There are no positives in the whole thing. When you buy tickets, you are given a list of things you can't do, and it's just about everything. It's no. No. No. No. no."
• "Once inside the cavern, the light is so dim in places that it is difficult to navigate, and since the floor is uneven, this makes walking difficult." (Well, it's a cave, Karen.)
• "This is my 5th cave tour in the past 3 years and by far the worst one! First of all this cave has NOTHING to do with Lewis and Clark! They happened to go by the river fairly close by, but never even looked in the cave."
• "I have no idea what the caves even look like since I too busy trying to follow rules that I didn't know about when I bought the tickets."
• "Needless to say we left the tour when she (the tour guide) made a pointed speech in the cave about the last chance to turn back."
• "As a person of height and weight (6' 5" and over 300LBs) I had a very negative experience in these caverns. I hit my head over 50 times and for days latter still have a very sore head with headaches." (Again, it's a cave, so...)
• "We have toured about 40 caves all over the U.S. and Caribbean and this was by far the worst tour we have taken. First of all, the trip is a 3 hour, 3 mile ordeal. Just to get to the cave you have to hike 3/4 of a mile straight uphill."
• "I've never taken a tour where I literally had to crawl and slide to get through. There were many spots where you had to squat and hunker down." (For the third time, it's a cave, so...)
• "The ranger said that all tours for the coming weeks are sold out. They don't keep spots for walk-ups."
• "Also no Montana State Junior ranger badges. Total bust!!"
• "Second of all my tour guide Ben decided to go religious and kept saying "In the year of our lord", you cannot use national parks to promote your religion!"
• "Our guide had a librarian vibe - speaking quietly, slowly, demanding silent and rapt attention."

This one might be my favorite as it's just plain wrong: "Website advertises "pet friendly" however pets are not allowed in caves, had we know this we would have left fido at home. You can put your pet in a cage for two hours. Website needs to be more specific."

Actually, the park website is extremely clear about pets: "Lewis and Clark Caverns - Pets are not allowed in the cave, but a kennel service is offered during your tour."